Friday, July 25, 2008

A Saturnine introspect..!!

::a blatant confession::
the following content is an upshot of exposition to motivation provided by the likes of Rang De Basanti (thnx to my cable operator).. Swades.. Nayak.. and several others.. readers may have read similar babbling articles but the writer wishes to put forward his rendition...

Sometimes.. irascible topics cross my head and beset the poor inane brain of mine.. not only does it cross, but it intervenes with other germane thoughts as well... Everything that happens to me after that, just falls in the right place.. so as to concave all my sapient attention to the topic... now that i've started blogging (inspired by my sagacious friends), i hope my thoughts will find a nice dwelling place..

I remember in the days of my childhood.. when my elders or my teachers asked me about what i wanted to become in life, my reply was the most devious one... without scaling the weight of the question, quiet unknowingly i would declare..,
"i want to become a soldier!!.."
the fights, the battlegrounds, the guns and bombs.. they all used to lure me more than anything..
And then... quiet unknowingly this answer vanished one day.. The vacuous reply was succeeded by more shining and becoming ones..
And in the process the soldier in me died..

well.. now I am twenty years old... I call myself a part of this "white white orbit white" generation..I am at the genesis of my specialization and my country looks upon me as it's hope.. as it's future.. But am I really worth??.. Am i really the one who dares to change the rules.. who dares to swim against the tide??.. i get no answers..
Mr. Kennedy said, "Never ask what he country does for you.. but ask what can you do for the country".. and at present, I am nothing more than a noone to my motherland.. My life at present is as desultory as the boat with a lunatic captain.. i don't even know what I am doing.. a good pay pack.. a good score in the A,B,C.. ATs.. a nice sweet partner.. new clothes and apparels.. is all i care about at the moment.. The topper(no offence meant) of my batch wants to secure a government job for himself just to earn that extra under-table transaction.. My friends and seniors are stepping outside the country to enhance their skills but they never want to come back.. Will they ever come back??.. no answers again..
Though I am more than 18 years old, i don't even share the basic responsibility of voting for the right government.. all my basic amenities are supplied by the nation but deep down I know that I can't give my life for it.. i don't ever dream of becoming another DJ.. or another Mohan.. the valour in me is simply missing..and quiet blatanyly i have accepted that.. and I'll be lying if I say that I never dream of settling abroad like many of us.. So does that mean m not patriotic??.. does that mean m an irresponsible citizen??.. unanswered again..

All i know is that i feel on top of the world when India wins a cricket match.. i feel proud when I see the tricolor amongst the others in Olympics... i never hesitate to strum some open chords and dedicate songs to my motherland on Aug 15th.. I abstain from lying on 2nd October.. But is that it??.. are these the qualities of an ideal citizen??.. i stop questioning myself.. they all go in vain..

Friends.. It's always better to light one candle than to curse the darkness... these repercussions of the nationally-disturbed mind wants me to come up front and battle against our miseries.. the paralyzed political frame wants me to mend it.. the social evils wants me to eradicate themselves.. but m clueless bout helping them.. my brain defies my mind.. maybe say after 10 years when I read this blog I'll just give it a sarcastic grin.. but right now.. my thought needs to be recorded..
i wud like to end this never-ending conflict from where it all started...
few days back the newspaper read the following lines..

"the moment we start taking our freedom for granted.. we become our own slaves.."..

thank you..


Akanksha said...

hi friend,
i pore over your thoughts.after reading i sat deep in thoughts n i realized that somewhere we have fend off the awkward questions that often cross our minds when we look at real picture of our country.the picture that evinces the tragic stories of places like vidharbh where ppl have put there land n kidneys for sale to get money to earn water..
is this the development after 60 years??bt we knw who's at fault..
sometimes i believe that we have lost acuity n are living with the spirit of defeatism..
im glad you wrote about it n have made others to think about it too..
keep writting..

Medhavin said...

ahhmmm...... Some pretty 'serious' stuff in there...

Ever wondered about taking a cue from the the Bhagvad Gita?? :)

Ritesh Khanna said...

I mean wazz it just a blog or some literature exam article for "RADCLIFFE"???????
Atleast do give a second thought 4 'commoners' like me....

Induja said...

hmm.. hard to comment upon ma!! nice to c ya thinkin this way.. keep it goin..
its really great the way u hav put words to d thots most of us hav had at some point of time.. .

Anurupa Ganguli said...

I must say I like the way you think and the courage to write it down here because its just the way most youth think (which insludes me as well)...but few have the courage to acknowledge it.I feel we have stopped thinking to an extent and we (Its not just us,even our parents who are either worried about their kitty parties or their workplace) are simply existing and not keep writing these kind of sttff whuich will make us think all over again to start living and not existing!

pri said...

very thoughtful indeed.. thought provoking i must say.. read it to my pa.. even he feels so.. nice going my writer frnd..
but i mussay, the scene outside is not that saturnine.. there is still hope, and hope is wht ppl live with.. and if u consider urself, it's not ur fault that u don't contribute to the nation.. u r still in a learning stage.. and things may change when u make ur own living.. m sure u gonna be the highest tax payer.. isn't it??..